Being a Man

 He was 12 years old and in 6th grade... from September 2009

As I pulled out of the hospital parking lot, the teary voice coming through my cell phone said, "Mom, I had silent lunch today. I couldn't sit with my friends. The teacher warned me to stop talking at least 5 times but I couldn't stop, so I had silent lunch."

I still had 45 minutes of commute to clear my head from work, and needed time to think about my response. My mind was going in numerous directions: I was thrilled my Aspie son has a group of band buddies (he has friends!!!) to sit with at lunch. I was glad to learn the teacher's are being understanding yet not letting him get away with inappropriate behavior in class. And I was sad my son was upset yet proud of him for telling me what's going on in his life. All I said at that time was, "I love you honey, thank you for telling me what's going on. We'll talk about this when I get home."

After I got home and changed clothes I sat down with Robert. As he snuggled next to me, a thought crossed my mind: There won't be many more times he'll want to snuggle with me as he grows up... and I already miss the feel of him in my arms.

And thus came the inspiration for my answer. I waited while Robert relayed the days events to me then I asked him, "You know how you tell me you're ready to be grown up? Ready to make your own decisions? Ready to make the rules?" He nodded yes.

And I asked him, "You know how I tell you it's not time for you to make the rules? That you're still a kid and not a man yet?" He nodded yes.

I said, "Well let's talk about what a righteous man would do. A righteous man will face his challenges head-on, he will admit his mistakes, face the consequences of his actions, then move on and strive to do better. Can you do that?"

He quietly said, "Yes Mom, I can." He didn't try to argue with me, didn't try to tell me he was the victim, didn't sass me.

I think he took a small step towards being a man.