Life's a Dance

On the way to the band festival, Robert was full of excitement. He was going to be a helper! Conversation went from band chatter to a very solemn question about tonight's big event - his first school dance.

Yes, he's attending the Special Needs Prom at school tonight.
His question: "Do you think they'll have a waltz tonight? That's 1,2,3,4, isn't it?"
I told him they might play one but I really doubted it. I offered to help him with dance moves (he usually declines my offers) or watch some youtube videos.
He said, "No, I'll be ok."
Then he talked about seeing his friend, whom we'll call David, tonight. He and "David" have been buddies since 6th grade. "David" is a very tall young man, and as we know, Robert is not very tall. Together they look like Mutt & Jeff, but they've always looked out for each other. Robert would worry about David's grades, and David was a bit of protection for Robert.
Alas, this year, David has followed a different path at the high school and stays with the other students on the remediation hall, and Robert is advancing on a different path through school.
So, big happiness will come from their attending the dance together tonight. Robert told me, "David talked me into going to the prom."

...Fast forward to driving home after the festival.
Robert says, "Mom, I've got to be under my blanket for a while. It's a big day."

No problem, I'm thankful he recognizes his need to unwind. So, I turn on my computer and check messages.

I receive one from a friend who tells me: Robert has asked a young lady to the prom!
WHAT? I had no clue!

He has known this young lady a long time, and he knows she only likes him as a friend.
But still, he asked to the prom, YESTERDAY. And he never told me.
If it hadn't been for a dear friend's message, asking what the young lady should wear... I'd never have known!

This status update is long, so let me sum up and say:
I've cried many tears this afternoon.
Tears of sorrow for my son's social skills challenges.
Tears of thankfulness for friends who are kind and who love my son.
Tears as I think of those who are not so compassionate to my son.
Tears of gratefulness for a young lady's kind heart and christian love of a friend.
Tears of frustration because I didn't see this coming.
Tears of inadequacy because Robert said, "I didn't tell you because you're not a guy. We need a guy."
Tears of gratefulness -- for parents who are raising incredible young people.
Tears because there is still so much good in the world.
Tears because Kroger has corsages available at the last minute.
Tears because my son is growing up.

What a day.
I have to head to work and Grandma is coming over to pitch hit. She and Ryann will be taking pictures and keeping me updated.

Robert has learned he must always talk to Mom about these things, that he should have contacted the young lady's parents, that there are many things we should have done. He has had tears in his eyes. He didn't mean to cause a problem. He just wanted to go to the dance, and he wanted to ask his friend to go with him. He's still under his blanket.

I pray he has a good time tonight with his friends. I pray for many blessings for the young lady, and all the children attending the prom tonight. I pray Miss Clairol keeps making my shade of hair dye, because the grey continues to grow!
xoxo

Ode to Autism

I remember when my oldest son was asked to leave our church's preschool. He wasn't bad, he just moved around too much and he couldn't focus on quiet time. He had difficulty following directions, and he needed to lay on things because the pressure on his body helped him concentrate. He was a distraction to the class and the teachers. He has ADHD in conjunction with Autism (not bad parenting) but he didn't get the official ADHD diagnosis til later.

I remember going grocery shopping when my youngest was little and how he screamed in the freezer section, and how he covered his ears. The hum of the freezer motor was too loud for his hearing senses to process. But I didn't learn about auditory processing til later.

I remember cruel remarks from people who saw my oldest son with a chew toy in his mouth when we went out in public. I knew how to provide for my child's needs, but I didn't learn how to stand up to rude stares and remarks til later.

I remember watching my youngest son try to run... And fall down every few steps. I remember when he became capable of walking barefoot, without the support of shoes. I watched his transformation through intense occupational therapy, and he learned to run, later.

I remember a life before Autism... I remember a time when I didn't know what autism was, when it was completely foreign to me.

But that was almost 15 years ago. I've learned a lot since then.

I've learned: My sons are capable of amazing things.
I've learned: My God is with me always as I raise these boys. He is my greatest resource!
I've learned: Rude people are simply rude. It's not personal. I still detest it, but I know they own their actions, and I don't have to let it take me down.
I've learned: More about Autism, Human Nature, and Special Education Law than I can describe here. It's become part of my every-day existence.
I've learned: I must rely on God's promises. I can not do this on my own.
I've learned: I must take care of myself so I can take care of my children.
I've learned: People are inherently good. Sometimes they just need to be inspired.

Communities around the globe are rallying today to create awareness of a cause which affects my life every single day of the year.

I remember a time when no one rallied for Autism awareness. I remember when no wore blue. I remember when no one had blue light bulbs on their houses. I remember when a puzzle piece was just part of a puzzle, not a symbol for a health epidemic.

I'm grateful for the awareness we have today! As people come to understand how autism affects lives, I pray this awareness helps fund autism research so we can reach the 1 in 50. And I pray the cure comes sooner, rather than later.