How Do I Look?

When you hear the word "Single Mom" what image comes to mind? C'mon, confess: an image came to mind.Was the woman young or old? White, black, hispanic? Was she dressed conservatively or immodest? Did you picture a hoard of children or perhaps just one or two?

How about we change the negative stereotyping of Single Moms? Many of us work, more than one job, to provide for our children. We pray, we tithe, we volunteer in our community. We are the sole decision makers for our family and often the sole financial resource for our families. We are law-abiding persons striving to raise beautiful children.

Yet, we endure condescending comments like "I know what you go through, my husband travels a lot." Really? That makes you understand the demands of a single parent? Boy, you're not seeing the real picture!

Single Moms are patronized and demeaned. We lay awake worrying about paying for doctor's visits, band fees, babysitters. We are tired. We wait on an antiquated child support enforcement system to help us meet our children's needs. We put our social lives on hold, and we lift up our children! We are seen as weak, undeducated, and somehow "less" because circumstances have led us to this place in life. The sermons we hear in church are often (wonderful yet) geared to the two-parent family. We feel embarrassed about our divorce or our choices in life so we feel as if we are less. We don't need you to help us feel any less or to see us as any less.

We are tired. We are working hard and doing the best we can. We put ourselves last. We are broken. But we are striving and we seek peace!

Instead of pitying us, instead of saying "Glad it's not me" ... How about stepping up and pitching in. Offer a night of babysitting for free, fix a meal, mow the lawn. Put your faith into action!

And instead of patronizing us, put us on your prayer list. Make us your daily prayer... so that we may fully come to find peace in God, that we come to understand we are never alone, that we feel rejuvenated in spirit and strong enough to fight off the world's negative messages. Prayer changes, Prayer empowers, Prayer helps. (Thank God, it has changed me!) ... And prayer will also help you see us as we truly are.