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Showing posts with label education. Show all posts
Showing posts with label education. Show all posts

Sunday, March 30, 2014

Thank you Hernando

I really do not want to say "thank you" to you. Those two words seem so very inadequate. Yet, how do I express this gratitude that overwhelms my spirit?

Every day, and some sleepless (or nightmare filled) nights, I live with autism awareness. I'm aware my oldest son might not be understood, or accepted, or find his hoodie (yet again) or say something awkward, or be bullied, or be too full of energy, or forget an assignment, or not understand instructions, or .... the list is too long to write here. Every day, I pray my youngest will not be so overwhelmed by sounds in a pep rally or meeting that he comes home (again) violently ill, pale, and worn out from trying to process the extraneous sounds assaulting his ears. I pray he does not miss some critical piece of instruction while screening out other sounds in the environment. (Auditory Processing Disorder falls under the autism umbrella, it's something like bionic hearing but with no screen to filter out background noise).


I do not remember the last time I enjoyed the luxury of reading a novel. Instead I read news feeds, special education law updates, research articles, and follow political campaigns for autism related issues.


Sometimes the memories of past public encounters rise to the surface. I try to suppress them. I try to forgive and I try to rise above, and I try not to be caught up in the bitter. But the insidious images steal in sometimes and strike a blow to my being. I still see the woman who was bold enough to touch my son in the grocery store and tell me how to parent. I pray God gives me credit for not decking her, or launching into a tirade. I might have walked away but she still haunts me. I think of the educators who have been inadequate and of the times I've had to steel myself for meetings, yet attempt to squash my Irish temper so my son gets an appropriate education. I am not proud of the way my emotions have expressed themselves at times, and I resent being put into those situations. I think about all the "fun" events we didn't go to - still don't go to - because my son might not be able to handle the sounds, lights, interactions. I think of the therapies, the struggle... and I risk spiraling down into something dark, bitter, depressive. I fight this spiral every single day, and only God's grace and Friends-placed-in-my-life-by-Him keep me from falling into the abyss.


We humans are a pitiful lot. So often we get caught up in all the negatives, all the hurts, all the emotions, that we forget there is still much good in the world. It happens to all of us, in varying circumstances. We think no one cares, no one understands.

But we are wrong. People do care. There are great teachers and therapists who are shining lights in our children's lives. There are parents raising children who are compassionate, caring, and concerned. There are students who want to see their peers succeed, who are helpful, kind, committed. 

In the past 48 hours, I have been witness to some profound sites:

*An entire school decked out in blue -- from teachers in blue capes, banners on the wall, the entire student body outfitted in shades of blue, signs on the school, along the roadway, and blue lights on the buildings.
*The blue puzzle piece the high school winter guard created to take on the road to state competition (because they would miss the race). 
*An entire high school marching band (well, a great percentage of them) who came to race, and rally on the Square.
*A community that came out to the town square when they could've stayed in bed on a cold, rainy Saturday morning. But instead they came out in droves to support Autism awareness.
*The sight of 400 runners braving the weather and setting out to run a race for a good cause. 
*Costumes & home-made t-shirts, each representing love and concern.
*Kind words, applause, acceptance.... the list goes on!

Autism is not going away. We desperately need to find a cure. 

And I need to figure out a way to tell the folks at Hernando High School, and the entire Hernando community, how very much their commitment, energy, kindness, and acceptance means to me. They are making a difference in my sons' lives and lives of countless children here in DeSoto County and around the world. Their actions inspire other communities, give hope to parents, and are setting an example which all schools should follow. They are creating a legacy -- these images and memories will carry forth to college, marriages, and careers. Compassion and acceptance will reign, instead of the negative, cruel actions we too often see in the news.

Maybe a day will come when we will not need to have rallies and races to create awareness about autism or other special needs issues. I hope so. And I hope my sons & I can give back to the global community in deed and prayer, in thanksgiving for the difference Hernando has made in our lives, and the support they've given to the world-wide Autism Awareness campaigns.

You are shining lights, each of you. 

I thank God for you!







Monday, December 30, 2013

Parenting Confessions from TV Land

It can't be easy on my boys, being raised by a Geek. I can't help myself. I'm a reader, a thinker, and a researcher.

I had developed some strong ideas about television and parenting, before I became a parent. The plan was simple: More Books, Less TV. If the tv was going to be on, it would only be PBS and documentaries. No trash tv, no questionable values. No need to fill our brains with something that wasn't educational or purposeful. It sure was easy to be an authority on parenting... when I didn't have children!


Looking at the big picture, some of my righteous pre-parenting goals have been met. Reading does happen in our house, most days. Our home library is an eclectic mix of children's classics, historical biographies, research and educational volumes. We don't have cable tv, and thankfully have never watched a single "reality" show. (I still maintain that our lives are as much 'reality' as I can handle).

Yet, my sons, with their needs and learning styles, have changed my perspective on tv viewing for children. With great humility, I admit my oldest (born overseas and not my son until age 3-1/2) learned a lot of English from watching 'Yan Can Cook.' Props also go to The Weather Channel, for helping me teach geography, math, and social studies to both boys. My son still has a framed, autographed picture from Dr. Steve Lyons on his wall, and the "Tropical Update" remains must-see viewing on the internet. As the boys have gotten older, I've allowed them to watch NCIS and Dr. Who, but that was the extent of our 'fluff' tv-watching.

But, there is something I must confess. I watch junk tv comedy (love my Golden Girls dvds) when the kids aren't around. On top of that, I've developed relationships with two very different men. At first, I was able to hide these gentlemen from my children. But both men make me laugh and forget my troubles. I escape with them when I am tired and need a dose of humor. One day I turned on junk tv while the boys were home. They were in their rooms, they weren't paying any attention, I was tired....

And as I was watching an episode of Frasier, the boys heard me laugh. They came out to the living room to investigate and ended up sitting with me through the episode. And I noticed something. My oldest son, who is very high functioning and diagnosed with Autism, looked at me on a couple occasions and said "What does that mean?" I realized, the double entendre's and awkward social situations on the show were teaching my son Social Skills, better than any lecture from me. And thus the boys met those two special men of mine, and we began a journey through (almost*) every episode of Frasier, and then Bernie Mac.

The dialogue that's been created in our home has been fantastic. "Why did Frasier say that?" ... "Is his Dad upset?" .... "Was that the right thing to do?" .... "Why did the children do that?" .... "Is that the right way to react?" Yes, it takes us longer than most people to get through the episodes, and my youngest son patiently waits while the oldest figures things out. But he is learning, and having fun while he learns.

I watch my oldest with interest during these episodes. I see where we need work, and also how far he's come. There was a time when he could not identify idioms. Now, when an unfamiliar figure-of-speech is used, he will turn to me and ask, "What does that mean?" Sometimes he will seek reassurance from me, "That's funny, isn't it?" ...

And once again, I am amazed at what God has brought forth, for the opportunity for my son to learn, for the bonding that comes with laughter, for the family time, and for the growth. And I am humbled, because the entire process came out of something I had considered off-limits.

As for learning social skills from tv shows, an article from Psychology Today states, "viewers often empathize with the characters or at the least think about what they would do if they were faced with similar situations. Constant viewing of these shows provides the audiences with opportunities to broaden and enrich their social toolbox and to think about some of their own issues." **

It's tough to let go of lofty ideas, and hard for parents to admit when they're wrong. I could've snapped off the tv as soon as the boys came into the living room that day. But we would've missed fantastic social skills teaching and family time. My vision and hopes for the boys haven't changed. I still use documentaries to reinforce science and history. Books are still prized possessions. God is our Anchor. Reality tv is still off limits. I'm still a Geek.

Our existence is nothing like 'The Brady Bunch' or 'Father Knows Best,' but if I am to be honest and give due credit, there are several folks from TV Land who've helped me along the way. My pre-parenting self might cringe, but I heartily say "thank you" to Elmo, Yan, Kipper, Thomas the Tank Engine, Franklin, Arthur, Bill Nye, The Magic School Bus, Mr. Rogers, Schoolhouse Rock, Andy Griffith, Reading Rainbow, and... Frasier & Bernie Mac. You have all helped me raise my sons.






*You should know by now they aren't going to watch every episode...not all of it's suitable viewing for children.
**http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-central/200908/can-tv-increase-social-skills